Midsummer Reflections on life and ageing
"Do not believe those who say “everything is possible” - and 9 other Hard-Won Truths
As we approach Midsummer—the brightest night of the year in the North—I find myself reflecting. If I was home in Denmark, I would go and sing the “Midsummer song” with my local community and listen to speeches around a huge bondfire. I am not, so instead I spend some time in quiet reflection. Because Midsummer isn’t just a celebration of light, but a moment to pause, and reflect.
It is funny how we, on this brightest and longest of days, so easily can get caught up in worries about the darkness to come. This silliness of the human mind, made me come up with a list of advise to myself (and others who would like to read) on going forward in life
The list is born from my Danish upbringing and spiced with what I have learned from the science of wellbeing and hours of Buddhist Vipassana (insight) meditations. The three approaches support and complement each other surprisingly well. Here goes;
Do not believe those who say “everything is possible.” It’s not. It never was when you were younger, and it isn’t now either. Accept that there are limits to what you can do in life—and that it’s okay to give up sometimes. That is life, and that is being human.
Whenever you hear the advice “Be yourself,” replace it with “Choose your self.” Your self is not static but something you can continue to shape through your perception and actions—no matter your age. The things you believed in when you were 20 might not serve you today. One of the best actions you can take is to shift your attention away from yourself and toward others. It benefits both them and your own well-being.
Listen to young people. It’s easy to think we know better because we’ve experienced more, but possibilities tend to diminish with (perceived) expertise. Nurture a beginner’s mind, because the world keeps evolving.
Continue to invest in friendships—both new and old. Human connection is the most important aspect of a thriving life. It doesn’t happen without effort, practice, and investment.
“Find your tribe,” they say. Yes—but I would add: expand your tribe. Talk to people who are different from you and who you might disagree with. You might learn something or see another point of view. It sparks curiosity and compassion.
Don’t get caught up in “the happiness myth,” which says that life is always enjoyable. It’s not! Far from it. Accepting that life is sometimes unbelievably painful (or just “meh”) is the path to making it more enjoyable.
Stop the constant striving to achieve something or become someone important. Find balance between working and resting. Between doing and being. Between pleasure and purpose.
Having a purpose in life is important. Continue to explore your (new) interests, but know that purpose is just as much a mindset as it is an achievement. You can find purpose and pleasure in the smallest of things— if you open your mind to it.
Focus on what matters to you, rather than what’s the matter with you (or others).
Live in the moment. Life is not linear. You are not a machine in decline through wear and tear, but a human being in a constantly changing inner and outer world. Prepare for the future and learn from the past, but spend most of your time focusing on the joys and challenges that are here right now.
Wherever you are this Midsummer—dancing, resting, remembering, struggling or dreaming—may you feel the warmth of the light, and the wisdom of your own journey.
Berit